Monday, May 5, 2008
Why won't she LISTEN to me?
So I have really struggled the past couple of weeks with Kennedie not listening and not obeying and back talking! Yikes! Where has she learned to back talk???? We use the naughty spot/time out and it works but sometimes she continues to do it through out the day, Is spending all day in the Naughty spot considered good parenting? JUST KIDDING! But it sure seems like that's all I do some days! I know she is only 2 but I swear she pushes and pushes until I am almost at my breaking point! Does anyone have any advice? My hubby says it's normal....she'll grow out of it, Hopefully I will still have hair left when she does!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
6 comments:
Okay Teri, I can totally sympathize with you! I went through this same exact thing with Avery. She is VERY strong willed. It seemed to last a full year. Some days I literally did put her in time out all day long. I was going BATTY!! I'll admit, she pushed me past my breaking point at times. After talking with my mother in law and other seasoned moms, I learned that the child is just learning what your boundries are. It is part of their learning/developing process. I'm not considering myself an expert or anything, but I would suggest you stay strong...or you may pay for it later.
I developed a few verbal ques w/Avery. I first explain to her what I expect from her, then I tell her I'm going to count to 3 and then explain to her that once I get to 3 if she is not doing the desired behavior then she will have to go to time out. I've worked with her to the point that if she is not doing it by the time I even say 2, that she can get into trouble. She is finally...on most days...respoding when I say "one." The most important thing is your follow through. If you don't do what you say you are going to do...she will know that next time she doesn't have to listen to your ques. One more thing that is important is that the time out must be something that she absolutely does not like. I cannot do a "naughty chair" w/Avery. Up until the past 6 months I have had to physically hold her in the corner because that was the only thing she hated. Sitting on a chair was a game to her & she would bounce around. I tried adding time to help her do it on her own...but that did not work either. Now that she is older, Avery will stand by herself in the time out corner. Oh, and time outs are becoming fewer and further between. It seems to be directly related to how well rested she is.
Just stick to it girl! It stinks, but you can't give up.
Thanks Jannette, I really agree with everything you said and I am trying to follow through, The Naughty spot does work for Kennedie she never leaves it but I had been letting her take her binki and blanket with her when I sent her there but have just recently decided against that. It's tough sometimes, Thanks for the encouragement!
Okay, most of you probably already do this but my sister-in-law told me about it and I was amazed at how it worked. She said....
Kids don't respond well or at all to negative (don't, no, etc) as we with toddlers all know. So, she suggested giving options.
For example... instead of saying, "Logan, don't dump out that basket of toys or else...." I've tried, "hey Logan, instead of dumping out the toys, let me help you find a truck." I know it is more time consuming especially when you are right in the middle of something. However, I have found that it works pretty well. At least that way I'm not about to beat my child for the 12th time that day!!! Good luck!
That's what I try to with Morgan, Courtney. It's not always easy, but I think it's very helpful. Also, I have started giving Morgan options, such as, "would you like to pick up your toys, or go to time out?" (Bad example, but you get the idea) Morgan then has an opportunity to make a choice and pick which she would prefer, which 90% of the time is usually to avoid time out.
Oh, and one more thing. I have found that counting to 3 does NO GOOD with Morgan. She just starts counting with me, thus forgetting what she was supposed to be doing. That's why I started giving her choices.
Teri, I think we've ALL been there. You're such a good mom just to be so diligent about trying to teach her.
One thing I noticed with Spencer's latest bout of major brattiness was that it followed McKay's hospital visit. I realized that because I was so worried and stressed out, that all Spencer was hearing from me was negative. Pete and I worked really hard for about a week and half trying to be really positive with him. We jump up and down and cheer when he shares toys, he does the sticker chart for chores, and when he obeys we make a HUGE deal. That way not so much of the attention was negative.
I don't know if that technique impacted HIM at all, but it helped ME not to feel so worthless and discouraged.
Post a Comment