Okay, so Logan is really into being defiant (sp) these days. We ask him to do something and he flat out says no. For example:
Mom: Logan, can you pick up your toys please.
Logan: no
Mom: Logan, please pick up your toys honey so we can.....
Logan: no
Mom: (getting frustrated) Logan, I'm going to count to 3 and if you don't pick them up you'll have to go to the corner. 1, 2
Logan: no (as he runs and hides).
Logan then ends up in the corner saying no even louder while crying and then isn't staying in the corner (a 10 minute battle that should have only lasted 2 and we are both super frustrated by the end). The louder wouldn't be so frustrating if all of our windows weren't constantly open (I promise I'm not beating my child if any of you hear us).
I'm REALLY TRYING to be PATIENT but starting to lose it. Any advice? Is this just a phase? I've tried jumping in and helping him with chores but some things (like finishing his meal) I can't help him with. I am an advocate of bribing for some things but I don't want him to think he gets something for picking up his mess. Bribes only come on special ocassions around here.
HELP!
4 comments:
ok so I don't have any advice right now, but I just wanted to say that I'm dealing with the same thing with Abby, and I have no clue what to do, this is something that I never figured out as a parent, I'd like to get it right on the third time around, so I'll add my voice to Courtney's HELP!!
I'd love to know too! One thing I've heard/read, but haven't tried very well yet, is this:
"Jace, your toys need to be cleaned up now. Either you do it, or I'll help you do it."
Let him choose, but if he doesn't do it on his own, my 'helping him' is to hold his hand and make him pick up and put away each toy. As far as I've seen, Jace doesn't want me to hold his hand, he wants to do it alone, so he'll eventually do it, but I haven't followed through yet on a long term basis. Good luck!!
The traditional Joy School program has a song about "Gunny Sack." The line I remember is: ...he eats leftover toys, and keeps them in his tummy. All growing up, we had a gunny sack and our toys would literally disappear for a good few days/week (depending on our age). With Morgan, I've started this on a smaller scale and if she doesn't pick up her toys, they go to timeout. I put them in a grocery sack and out of her reach, but where she can see them, and tell her when they are coming back. For instance, last week, she lost all of the food for her play kitchen and it stayed in timeout until after church on Sunday. She was very upset, but we haven't had a problem with picking up toys since.
Yuck! When did Logan start saying no! I'd guess that it's a stage, where he's kind of testing what the consequences are for certain behaviors (such as eating deodorant and toothpaste, dumping a full glass of water in your lap, or dropping Chloe on her head:) ). Anyway, my guess on how I think I'd approach it would just be trying to be consistent. It might take a lot of energy and Diet Coke, but I think over the course of 2 or 3 days he'd realize that he shouldn't mess with the boundaries.
I've also learned that when I lose my cool, my kids lose their cool. I'm sure you never do this, but when I get upset and yell, or act in some other childish way, they mirror me. Trying to stay calm helps both of us put the situation in a little better perspective.
Good luck!
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