Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Tantrums
So at 3 1/2 I thought we had totally skipped the all out emotional, freaking out, major meltdown, throwing himself on the floor temper tantrum with Logan. The past two weeks have proven otherwise. He is so super sensitive. He freaks out over little things (for example, last night Seth told him he couldn't have more dinner until he finished what he was given and began to cry and hit his head on his chair). We have tried reasoning, ignoring, time out, alone time in his room, being calm and of course, those of you that know me, blowing a fuse. Our lives are pretty nutso right now and we are really trying our best to make things seem as normal as possible for the kids. He doesn't sleep well either and I know that contributes. We've started locking our door to get him our of our bed and to stay in his so he is up a lot (even in our bed he was up a lot so I don't feel too guilty). He doesn't really know why he is upset when we talk about it so I'm not sure how to approach it. I've gotten some great advice from some of you already but am open to any and all suggestions! Please help me!
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3 comments:
I think that's about the age Chalise started doing that too. While she couldn't admit it, it seemed like a cry for attention. Negative attention is still attention. We worked harder at making sure we spent some one on one time with her and noticing positive things we could compliment her on and rewarded her good behavior. While it didn't totally make them go away it helped. We still notice when she starts acting up a lot we can look back and say, yep we've been busy trying to get other things accomplished and our attention has been split several ways. When she throws fits we've found that for her removing her from the situation (most of the time taking her to her room) and letting her know that we'll come get her when she's calm helps a lot. She won't reason if she's still upset and needs that little time to calm down. While after the 4th or 5th tantrum of the day I know the fuse gets really short, We've noticed when we get upset she gets even more upset so trying to stay calm and act like it's no big deal makes a difference although I KNOW it's hard sometimes. I hope that helps. You're a great mom, and these kids sure can keep us on our toes.
This really is so hard, and Ivy is starting to go through the same thing. I just tell her to go to her room and let her know that she's welcome to come out as soon as she's happy and ready to talk like a big girl. A friend of mine has a bottle of beans and has it marked in incriments. When her son does good things he gets a few beans in his jar, and then when he reaches one of the lines he gets to choose from a basket of dollar-store toys. When he throws a tantrum or breaks other rules, he gets beans taken away. It works out great for him. Good luck! You are a fabulous mother.
Thanks everyone so much for the replies, phone calls, and emails. We are trying a few new things today and so far so good! I know this will not be an overnight fix but anything is better than yesterday! You are all great mothers and I really respect your opinions! Thanks!
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